10/19/09.....9:54pm... o god, im tryin to sleep but cant fall asleep...this is on ma head...i didnt think i wuld feel this way this fast..cnt tell anyone i feel that way all they would say is i told u so but nt understand when someone realizes their mistake its not time to make them feel worst...wow...it now jus hit me that i did this...how am i gonna face my father when he finds out....wow...im really a dissapointment arent i...the first one to get pregnant and have an abortion, the first one to have a tatoo...the only one fightin in school...i seem to be the only/ first one makin mistakes and/or doing bad/non christian things...am i really better than this...its like im doing things i hate but cant seem to stop...father the preacher said on sunday if we are wit u u will be with us, and if we turn our backs on u u will turn ur back on us...he said if we know we are doing things we see we cant stop to call unto u..and i have been and still am...I NEED U!!! Please dnt turn ur back on me...ur my only hope.