Hi It's very sad when this happens and it has happened to many of us including myself BUT! When I kept in Gods word and continued to pray against these feelings that all changed. I asked God to surround me with His choosen ones and reading Job and fasting helped cause He is greater. You know this cause you believed and because something looks bad from your lens it seems hopeless and impossible. But you need to know which you do is that alllll things are possible. We as His children need to give everything to Him cause He owes us nothing He already paid the prize. That's big. Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I've been going to Bible study and am learning that what looks impossible is because I think that which means I'm not trusting God. And I need to trust Him and fear Him. Most ppl would ask why fear Him. We cause He is our Creator and Judge. Its amazing cause think when someone stops talking to us we think what did we do wrong or we know. God knows both. Proverbs 1:7. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge but fools despise wisdom and instruction. When you don't want to read or pray do it anyway. It will cast that feeling away. Just this Jesus was about to face death. I know that I can't imagine what He must of felt but try. He knew that this was gonna happen and He reminds His followers and even yells them their gonna denie Him. All His friends leave Him. How sad is that? They even fall asleep while He goes and prayers Mark 14:32-38 NKJV

Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, %u201CSit here while I pray.%u201D And He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, %u201CMy soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch.%u201D He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. And He said, %u201CAbba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will. %u201D Then He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, %u201CSimon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.%u201D

And whatever your facing is not to big for God. Remember we want to serve Him know matter what. That doesn't mean that were not gonna face hard times in matter of fact we might even face death because we want to follow Him but we have to press forward noooo matter what. God adopted us to be in His family. He wants us and that includes you! Luke 9:23 ask God which I need to do to. What does this inquire from Him? Go back to Him. You are not alone Ill be praying for you. Trust in Him.

Know that we are His children. But we need to Love Him with all our hearts,mind and strength. Bit we don't know how unless we ask Him God please teach us to do.this what you commanded. We can also ask God to help us to not grieve Him like the ppl in Noah's day. Noah found Grace in Gods eyes. So we can ask Lord what is it that we need to do to find that have that Grace to please Him and Him alone. Try to focus on God and His promises. I encourage to read and deny that feeling or thought. We all are tempted by the same devil that tempted Jesus and others. Read 2 Corinthians 10. I used to have awful thoughts against God and someone my sister in Christ told me to read this. Reading will help your faith. May you be reconcile yourself to Him who does really Love you! Don't let Satan convince you other wise. With love tour sister In Christ Amen

keep the faith god is good he is powerful and mighty dont give up