Prayer Request

Thank you for blessing my family and friends with this day. I thank you for yet another opportunity to praise and worship your mighty name. I ask that you be with me this day and help me to not be an independent thinker, but rather a dependent creation of yours. I have made and will continue to make many mistakes and many decisions that are in direct defiance of your teachings. Lord you know my heart, i cannot fool you. I fear that i wont have a chance to change my ways and the deliberate spirit within. I listen to songs of praise, i watch shows and broadcasts meant to show the awesome power and resolve of you and i cry. I cry not just because i want to be able to experience that awesome and comforting feeling, but because my heart breaks at the thought of not having that experience ever. I dont mean to ignore your voice. The devil has been allowed to enter at times when im most vulnerable. Maybe im not meant to fully be taken into your graces, but i desperately want that. I ask with all that i am, for your guidance and help with this. I am struggling to exist in a sinful world. I don't want to disappoint you or my family. I have grown tired of smiling through the tears. There is no more self-healing that i can do that will repair the damage that 30 years of living and making the wrong decisions have done. I want to be able to support myself and to finally take care of my parents as they have always and are still doing for me. I want us all to have a better relationship with you and to continue to love you and each other. I fear being unwed, childless, and unsuccessful in life. I know my family is proud of me and my educational accomplishments, but i want to finally have a job to show for my dedication to my master's degree. May my words not fall on deaf ears. Please hear my cry for help and guidance lord. In your glorious name i pray, watch over my family and the world. Amen.

by Silent Tears

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