Oh Lord my God, where are you? Please do not forsake Your son that You have created in Your image. I curse the days she made the decisions she did, and I curse the day I let her destroy the man I was. I let anger and bitterness take hold of me and drive me to sin. Further toward my own destruction have I let these trespasses, made against me, drive me. As an excuse, I used them to trespass against those who wronged me. My heart was hardend. And now I am consumed by these evil things. I am over burdened. I cry out to You, but I hear no reply. I seek shelter in Your word, but it only points to reminders. Every day, in every direction, all I see and hear are reminders of what broke me down. Even the date is a reminder. I cast these out of my head, but they come back stronger. I know Your truth, but I don't feel You. I don't hear your voice or see your hand. Instead I only see dismay and destruction. I'm afraid my heart has grown too hardend and will not be softened. At night she cries out to you for me, and I am left wondering how sincere it is. I know this is not of You, but when I seek You I do not find You. How long must I dwell in this alone? Why is it that my only source of comfort that You've afforded me is the one who killed the man I was? Why will you not answer my cries of despair to You? How much more testing does my faith require? I am losing my footing! Grab hold of me now! Do not allow me to endure anymore without Your comfort! Let me hear Your voice again! How can I consider it joy when I face this trial without you? Many pray for me, and many say that You have not left me alone. Why are these people reassured of Your presence with me but I am not? Hold me now Lord. Carry me as if I were still an infant. Hold me to Your chest and let me feel the heartbeat of my Father!
The only way to hear the father is to obey him.each time u obey you will have a victory. When we do things our way he turns from us.he will not leave u hanging because he knows that u r persuing him. Keep up your strong desire and he will pick you up.
Lay your sadness and sorrow at the feet of Jesus. The enemy is using these tools to taunt you. If he could keep you away from the blessings that come from a relationship between u and ur wife he surely will.
He has not left nor forsaken you. He is always with us, even when we can't see/feel Him. God only requires a mustard seed of faith, hold on to his promises for his children. You are his child and he will take care of you. Pray and fast as I will do for you as well.
kitzuki | on Jul 01, 2010