Starting NOW, you have to work on your relationship with Jesus. NOW. Not tomorrow. James 4:8. Matthew 6:33, Phillipians 4:6-7. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 means it. Start doing these things now and NEVER look back. These are demons attacking you. They want to destroy a part of Gods creation. That is an abomination unto God, which pleases Satan. Do not let Satan get into your head. When you feel one of these thoughts coming on, rebuke it in the name of Jesus immediately. I agree with you right now in Jesus name rebuking these demons. When you start living for the Lord COMPLETELY, the devil has no place in your life. Our Lord wants ALL of you. He is a jealous God and has the right to be jealous. 25 times he tells us he is jealous. He loves you more than the world itself. So, of course the devil would love to destroy you. Rebuke, rebuke, rebuke now in the name of Jesus. When you start following the Lord, these things happen, Deuteronomy 5:29, Deuteronomy 28, Psalms 91, Psalms 1, Phillipians 4:7 Psalms 103, Psalms 104, Matthew 6:33, 2 Chronicles 7:14 Isaiah 26:3 and last and most importantly you get to spend eternity with Lord. Eternity is something you and I can't fathom. Don't miss it. It will be the biggest mistake you will ever make in your entire life. Repent today and follow Jesus completely with your whole heart, mind and soul and DO IT, don't just say it.

Also, James 4:7

One more thing. When you finally decide this is it, I am going to serve Christ for eternity, he promises to make you a new creature. Isn't that beautiful??!!!!!