There is no shame in taking medicine to be able to live a "normal" life. I have to do the same thing. I promise, you aren't alone. There's me and many others like us. Stay strong. Keep pushing forward.

Dear Lord
as You Know just last week as i was so upset that i end up yelling and cursing and basic i got real mad at You Oh Lord and just basically coming unglue
and why
becuase i too was getting so sick of taking my meds for depression and being bi-polar and now my joints and head is getting more dizzy at times
and Lord You Know me better then my self
and so after basic falling to the floor in shanables of a mess
and then rebuking the emeny
in Jesus Name
my anger went into crying
and i said Lord please Help me? and Lord i ask You and You Only Oh Lord what do You want me to do?
and i slowly felt my heart soften inside
and then my girlfriend sit down beside me on the hard floor and she gentlely grab my arm while and said lets pray
and while i was praying and listening to her pray
i ask that The Lord again what do You want me to do?
and then my girlfriend said to me that all she keeps hearing in in her head is over and over "Trust in Me"
"you my son need to Fully Trust in Me"

and then i started complaining to God about why this happing? or will stay like this forever?
and the same thought just kept going through her mind over and over with Your Peace and Your Peace Only
while we were both in agreement
"Trust in Me"
so Lord as You Kbow i am in my late 40s and i am just learning this slowly
i share all this in Jesus Name Amen

so Lord please Help and Gudie Your Child in Christ Jesus to Your Wisdom and Your Balance and Your Strenght when they donot understand
and place on their heart as You and You Only Oh Have on my heart to come to You and You Alone Oh Mighlty Heaven Father and ask You Oh Lord to Help you were you your self are not able to
in Jesus Name