Please know that God is always by your side and even though we dont always understand things...Gods plan is absolutely perfect

I don't feel him and therefore he must no be here. If god sees all and knows all then why has this happened

The Lord hasn't done this. He lets things happen in our lives to bring us back to him closer than ever. No matter what you are going through you need to have faith. In your darkess hour he will pullyou out of the pit and restore all that you have lost ten times over. But it must start with you. Have great faith and stand with your feet planted. This storm will pass and in the end you either are stronger or weaker. He never promised it would be easy but in the end if we stand strong with faith in him we come out ahead. I will pray for you and your mother that his healing hands be placed on both of you. You need to change your thinking. You have a victim attitude. Start believing that you are achild of the almighty God and through him anything is possible. He has moved mountains for people, he in his time and his way shall pull me out of this pit. I love you. Have faith in yourself and in him.

I agree with faithfulmommy. Have faith and trust in God. I'll pray for you and your mom. May God be with you and bless you. Amen

God didn't do this even though you think He did. It's ok that you are angry and He understands. Pain is so very powerful that it can prevent you from hearing Him or feeling Him near. Brokeness and pain bring huge blockages that can interfere with sensing Him. But in no way does that mean that He is far away. He is close to the broken hearted. He is right there. He is never going to leave you. He knows you don't feel Him but He will keep fighting for you. His will is to heal you. He knows what has happened. He will never stop reaching His hand to rescue you out of this life...all this pain. He knows what none of us understand. Even you. He see's clearly all the blockages that prevent you from hearing Him. He knows what's happened with your mum. Just hold on another moment. You are loved far more than you can even comprehend right now. It's ok that your angry. And He knows why. A bruised reed He will not break. He will not break you nor will He crush you. This life is full of pain, cancer, suffering, heartbreak...He wants to rescue you and give you life. Not death. A life where you know what it is to smile and not constant grief. A life where you know that you are a loved child and not full of hatred for yourself. He will not give up on you. Never.

I wish I believed like you do

You can. Just train your thinking. When negative things pop in your head counteract them with positive ones. I know it sounds corny but all those negative thoughts are the devil trying to keep you down. Trying to keep you in a depressed negative mood. That prevents you from receiving the favor and blessings that the Lord wants to give you. You have to receive God's blessings. They don't just fall into your lap. You have to think it and believe it. Declair outloud that the devil will not keep you down anymore. The Lord has already won your battle. You need to remember that and say it outloud when negative thoughts come in your head.