King , I hope I m reading wrong! Your life is precious to Jesus that why you live! I know how hard it is to mourn your dad, you see I lost my dad to suicide! So I also know how much pain it cost to the family that stays behind, all the wondering why he did it, why couldn't I stop him! And if you kill your self you won't be with your dad killin yourself is just the same as killing someone else it's still murder and God dose not accept that it a commandment from God! I feel your pain King but I promise it will get better day by day! You have to continue living for your dad, I m sure he wants you to be happy, and by law parents are suppose to go before their children king I was a daughter but now I m a mother and I would not want My children suffering or wanting to die because Jesus took me home! I would want to live happy and be productive people and only to remember the happy times we shared and for them only to think about how much I love them, I m sure your dad wants the same for you! This too shall pass! God bless you and live king live!