Prayer Request

I remember when I was little girl, love from my mom is spell "忍"

by Siew Yin

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I remember when I was little girl, love from my mom is spell "%u5FCD" & "%u5FCD", she work till she fainted, I don't really remember when I see my mom smile & happy. My grandma criticize her & curst her to death, no one stand for her. My father was a distant man, I remember he talk to me nicely once when I had motor accident. He ignore me or scold me all the time. I don't understand why I am a girl looks like a small ugly boy, I work hard, i did all things to my mom to cut down her load. one day I found a man, Gary, he is willing to hold my hand take me as the only woman to start a new life journey, I was in heaven I'm the one, he is my world, he is all I have, I never been so loved, he is kind & gentle, he put me first, I love him I really love him I gave myself to him & I gave birth his blood & flesh to him. I have a love place call home. I was joyful, I do my best to take care of our home, our children & one day, everything was fallen apart, he told everyone he only wanted & love is not me. I don't realize I start a life journey same like my mom, I took up all responsibility to make my marriage whole, I'm suffocate myself with everything I'm to blame to, in the other hand, I act like my dad I criticize everything which I know it's very hurtful. I don't know how love feel like anymore, Its painful, I'm lost God! Where is my home? Do I have a home? I have no where to go to... It's just a blink, times fly, I'm 40 right now. I only feel I just a little girl who want someone to hold me cuddle and tell me I'm beautiful no matter what happen I'm loved, and everything I did, well done! I'm repeating my mom pain. I'm seeing what my kids seeing. I love Gary God!, I love our children. God help me to break the curst! I want to give love and be joyful for you, for my man Gary & for our 2 beautiful children, help me show me. Take away my pain fill me with your love. It's painful to take up all responsibility, so I decided to be irresponsible. I sleep whole day, i don't want to wake up, I resign, I work minimum for this period, I'm fasting to pray for my man Gary to be able to breakthrough fear. Be the man you want him to be. I'm in serious debt. I really don't know what to do differently to have my love home. I lost my joy, my world, I don't even know where I am. I miss the time I was hold in Gary's arm, he hold me very tight seems like afraid I will slipped away when we were in his AW advance graduation, he pour out his love emotion to me. I thought it's my second chance in life to loved. My man left me without a word. I miss him dearly. Father help me in Jesus name I pray. Amen!

Siew Yin | on Jul 26, 2011

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