Prayer Request


Dear God,

... It's been a long road, hasn't it? For the past three years almost, I've grown more in my tastes and knowledge than ever before. I praise and thank you for it. My drive for you is what has brought about this growth. And You gave me the tools to get me through a disaster back in 2008. But that same disaster still haunts me.

During that awful summer back in '08, I blamed You outright, God. I was new to love, and I took my first rejection (there was more to it than rejection) badly. REALLY BADLY.

In tears I prayed and prayed and prayed for a solution. For things to get better. But nothing did... and in complete anger and ignorance (and heaps of a broken heart) I screamed and cursed Your name, God. I speared you with insults, pegged you with curse words and venomous rage, flung both middle fingers in Your face, and did all I could to rebel. I was so desperate to make sense of the silence in my suffering that I wanted to spur a reaction out of You- even if it was Your wrath. Anything was better than Your silence; thinking you didn't care about my heartbroken misery.

Thank You for being more mature than I'll ever be.

I was completely blasphemous in those days. In fact, smaller blasphemous acts have occured sporadically in the nearly three years since that terrible summer. And I just want to apologize.

God... I was wrong. I was wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. I was wrong to treat and speak to You in the manners that I have in the past few years. I was wrong to blame You. And I just want to be free of this guilt and know You forgive me.

I'm sorry, God. I repent and ask for Your forgiveness over my hideous blasphemies and behavior back then. Please erase Summer 2008 from my past. Heal the wounds and scars it made in me, and deliver me to a new place in life.

Speaking of life... Jesus... I need You in mine. I am, effectively, my own worst enemy. I'm needlessly hard on myself, and I honestly and openly struggle with doubt sometimes. I'm lonely and I have no self-esteem. Some of the perceptions I carry about God are probably wrong, and my heart and life are a big, tangled mess of lies, hurts, and sin.

Jesus, I am told You are in the business of changing lives. By accepting Your offer of eternal life and coming into a relationship with You.

I accept Your offer. I receive You, Jesus, as my Savior. I believe You died on the cross at Calvary and rose from the dead. You died for me and the world. Save me, Jesus. Forgive me for ALL my known and unknown, secret and not-so-secret sins.

Move into my heart. Come into it and free it from the darkness. Radically transform my life, for it is YOURS.

Use me. Shape me. And get me where You dream and want me to be. Be my Savior, Jesus. Also my Rock, Redeemer, and... Friend.

And I surrender my desires and needs and trust to You, Lord. Meet what I need.

In Christ's Name I pray.... Thank You, Jesus. Amen.



by Change Me

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Comments on this Prayer

Friend god forgave you,now you forgive yourself he is a loving god. Batte field of the mind read it,it helped me Joyce Meyers

Anonymous | on May 31, 2011

Amen

MyKalla | on May 31, 2011

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