Prayer Request

How many times can you forgive me? Again I fell into the same old trap you have saved me from. I know you saw me and at the time I didn't care. You did as you promised and freed and blessed me 100 times over with a new life. So why do I keep going back? Why do I keep going back to the darkness that I hate? The place of torment and chains I fear so much? Each time I drag your spirit into this filth I willingly return and chain myself to, And like now I feel separated from you. Rage and shame are my portions sorrow and dispair fill my emptyness that once held your light. I know fury and punishment is what I deserve.
Father I am sorry for each time I have taken your mercy for granted. I lay before you now face down in my shame. A hypocrite for I said many times if you would forgive me I would follow only you only to turn my back and return again.
Now I await your judgment for mine was the hands that drove the nails and beat and slapped the face of my true king. In this court I cannot stand the deal was made and you stayed true even though I have broken it more times than I can recall. My demons mock me and know the punishment I deserve. For again I have trampled on your mercy and spat in the face of my king and one true friend. You are just in all things In silence I will now wait for your decree death or life, as you choose so it will be.

by Holdingfast

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