You got to start with love. God loves you as you are. He desires to have a relasionship with you and he wants to heal you. Continue to seek him. Speak life over yourself and claim the promises of God. His word will not return void! It is your weapon and it's like a Magic Jennie what you speak and claim through his promises you will recieve! It's never to late to start a over. Repent then invite him in and give him the wheel. Stop trying to direct your own path. Give it to god and he promises to direct your steps! His mercies are new every morning!